You meet people, like them, let your guard down and then what do they do: show you their true colors. I quote Maya Angelou when I say this “The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.” To me, this means when people really show you who they are. Sometimes this is not the first time you meet them, or the after a month or year. Sometimes, its after several months or years. Its that moment when they wrong you. You really learn people when they do something wrong to you. If they apologize and you’re able to call it square, them usually they’re okay. However, if they end up throwing a rock and hiding their hand, well then that tells you who they really are right there. A liar is a liar is a liar. You have to call it what it is.
What’s so hurtful when this happens, is when its from people who you love or care about deeply. These are the people you have your complete guard down for. I’m naturally not a very trusting person, for many different reasons. That’s an entirely different post for another time though. However, this post is one of the reasons why I don’t trust people very often, if at all. You expect it from people out in the world, people you don’t know, but not from those close to you. Not from those you may call friends or family. It cuts deep when it comes from them, especially family. Unfortunately, you can really get rid of family. You’re tied to them by either blood or marriage. No matter how hard you try, you can’t just throw them away or avoid them.
At times, the situation gets even more sticky when it’s a family member or members who you can’t speak openly to. You don’t know what to say, how to say it, when to say it, or if you should even say it at all. You’re stuck in a real pickle! The resentment sets in, your passive aggressiveness is now in full affect. Discomfort in their presence is the only emotion you feel. What to do, you say? Pray – it’s the only answer.
They’ve already shown you who they, so there’s nothing you can do. You have to forgive, although it can be very difficult to forget. When a situation is too big for us or out of our control, we have to pray for God to guide and lead us in the right direction. The direction you should not go in is not coming down to that person’s level. Be the bigger person, turn the other cheek, because the only person’s time you waste is yours.
I don’t say this easily, because I struggle letting go of things and sometimes forgiving. It takes me a long time to get over being burned. I don’t know if its because I end up being more upset with myself for letting my guard down, than with the person for wronging me. Whichever it is, I have to work at it…a lot. Sometimes there’s closure, other times not. I’ve learned to deal with it, not be okay with, but deal.
How do you deal? What’s your response to being burned?