Updating and my struggle with a sleepless baby, husband and self!
So you may have noticed that I haven’t been around much lately. First, down here in the good ol’ South, we had horrible weather. My husband got 3 days off work last week, so we were hanging out enjoying family time. Secondly, I’ve been super busy engulfing myself in a ton of new projects and endeavors that will help me support my family, while being a SAHM. More to come on that later! Thirdly, and lastly my husband and I have been struggling with getting our son to sleep through the night. Additionally, he has been more demanding than usual. He is starting to teeth, hence the constant fingers and hands in the mouth, and constant need to be help and the so favorited (sarcasm) comfort nursing.
We co-sleep with my son, in part because we are just moving down from VA and we’re staying with my mom until we find a place. My son’s pack n’ play is at the foot of out bed, just a little bit more than an arms length, but he’s never liked it. I can probably count on one hand the number of times he’s sleep through the night in it. We exclusively breastfeed, so many nights, or rather early mornings he winds up in our bed. My husband hates it, for obvious reasons of course! He wants our son to be able to sleep on his own. He doesn’t want bad habits of co-dependence starting now and continuing throughout his childhood. He also wants to be able to cuddle with his wife at night, like he used to always be able to pre-baby. Of course me as a mother, I don’t mind little guy in the bed as much. However, I have to admit that I’d prefer him sleep through the night, and in his designated place. Not our bed.
The thing is that not only is he in our bed, he’s still not sleeping as well as I feel he should. Now that he’s 4 months, he’s distracted by EVERYTHING! So he wants to stay up, see, hear…well all 5 senses everything. At least before when he was in our bed he would go to sleep and stay sleep until about 6 or 7 in the morning. Every night we put him in the pack n’ play, and fight with him every night. Previously, I’d just take him out and soothe him, by nursing or just giving attention. I know, I know…I’m to blame mostly for this whole ordeal. I would also be very quick to bring him in the bed with us at the first sign of him stirring. I honestly didn’t realize the habits I was forming and how much it would eventually backfire.
I realized a few days ago, pretty much while my husband was home for the snow days that my son had been playing me. He will act right with everyone else, to include my husband, but cut up with me. If he’s in my arms he wants to “nurse”, which is pretty much suckle for a few minutes and then fall asleep. If I’m out of the room, and say my husband is with him, he’s content. If I walk in, its like he gets overexcited and are starts to wild out. He knows I’ll play with him, comfort him, soothe him, after all I’m the food source. My husband made a stand early on with our son, whereas I just kind of went with the flow and didn’t see or feel a need to.
Now, I do! So the past couple of nights have been both hellish and heartbreaking. I want my son to sleep, rested, without waking through the night excessively. Actually he doesn’t wake excessively, its just that when he does, he doesn’t want to go back down. My son was not sleeping well in my opinion, so to correct it, I finally agreed to start sleep training. All he wants to do in the bed with me is comfort-nurse, not sleep, which is not good…for anybody! However, returning him to the pack n’ play has been an expectant struggle. For one he’s always hated it and for two, he’s not one of those babies that puts themselves to sleep. My son rarely seems super tired. He’ll exhibit sleep signs, but will stay up if given the option. He hasn’t learned how to self-soothe or put himself to sleep. When it occurred to me that he may be overtired, I kicked the sleep training into gear and I hate it!
I’ll tell you why in part 2!
Staying tuned for part 2!
Isn’t this called the “four month sleep regression”? Or something like that! And I remember many torturous times.
Wishing you lots of sleep!
That’s what they say! He’s definitely in full on regression mode. Although we’ve always had trouble getting him to sleep, but that was just outside of our bed. Now it’s all the time, except for naps. Although they are shorter too now. Thanks so much for wishing me lots of sleep. I can sure use it!
I am terrible at sleep training and I am on my 4th baby. It is so hard for me to hear them cry it out and then they usually end up with diarrhea or vomit on their jammies. Looking forward to your post #2 maybe you can help this sleep deprived mamma!
It really is so hard! Heartbreaking! I’m trying to stay strong in my conviction to get him settled into a routine and staying asleep, but its day 4 and still a work in progress. I’ll keep you posted with part 2 coming up next week!
We didn’t really do sleep training in the traditional sense. We just try to keep as consistent as a schedule as possible. It took a while, but it eventually helped him fall into a routine so he’d fall asleep easier at night. Now, he still has regressions. He’s going through one right now. But if we just keep up the schedule as best we can he usually goes back to his normal after a while. I hope you’re able to help your little one sleep better!
[…] ← My Struggle Lately…A Sleepless Baby, Daddy, & Mama! […]
My oldest did not sleep well as a baby. He was also breastfeed and would not always fall back asleep after nursing at night. I can’t remember when it got better, but he did eventually start falling back asleep after nursing. I know it’s hard sometimes but I would take a long nap during the day when he was napping to catch up on my sleep.
I sleep trained both my babies, and recommend Dream Team Baby. Honestly, they need a good schedule and good naps during the day, and 12 hours at night. Have you moved him to his room? Let me know if you need help! I wrote a post about it…http://www.mommyinsports.com/2013/07/keys-to-bring-you-more-zzzzs.html
Good luck! I know this is a tough phase…but this too shall pass! And your nights will be blissfully free soon!
Aw, good luck! My little one just turned three months and she seems to have started to go through a bit of that 3-4 month sleep regression, waking up periodically throughout the night (thankfully usually she just wants her pacifier). I hope that sleep training goes well.
On a complete aside, I am also a new mama and a jewelry designer and am going to be in your neck of the woods! Happy #SITSSharfest 🙂
Sleep training was so hard with our first, but a breeze with our second because I had learned how to not let the crying get to me and it stopped very quickly. It is tough though. Hang in there — you will be sooooo glad you did!!!
Awww. Good luck with this. It’s really hard when your living it but just know this to shall pass. We will all be sleeping through the night soon. I wish you all sweet dreams
Our 15 month old has slept through the night maybe 3 times since she was born. I hear you about the sleep training! We started and couldn’t go through with it so many times in the past year, but now she is finally starting to sleep almost through the whole night (but still usually wakes once to nurse). Good luck and I hope things work out for you. Not sleeping well for a year almost did me in!
I’m so sorry you’re not sleeping well. We had one little one who didn’t need as much sleep as the rest of us. It was hard when she was little. Thanks for linking up at last week’s Weekend re-Treat Link Party!
Thanks so much! It looks like we’re making some progress, but we’ll see. I think in a situation like this patience is just key, so we’ll keep at it. I know at the end of the day that is just a part of parenthood.
Always happy to link up and share! 🙂
Oh good luck – just remember, “this too shall pass”. Thank you for sharing and linking up with us at the #WWDParty – enjoy the rest of the week.
Thanks so much! It’s so nice to hear that reassurance that this time will soon pass. I think we’re finally getting there, but we’ll see how it goes!
I think Tamara is right about the sleep regression. JR slept for about 7-10 hours straight from 7 weeks until he was like 4 and 1/2 months. From then on, he’s been in our bed and nursing off and on in the night. I did try to night wean somewhat a few months ago because by a year old, they can be night weaned. I just started letting Daddy put him to sleep. Now if I hold him and stand up for a while he falls asleep and may not wake up to nurse or does like once in the middle of the night. We still co sleep though. Tell Hubby this is definitely going to be a rollercoaster ride. I feel like they have different phases for everything. We’ll see how this little guy is. I know you will figure something out that works for you all!
This is such a sweet post! I always gave in when my kids tried to sneak into my bed at night! The books i read that its best not to let them sleep in the bed with the parents, but my kids are big now and they all turned out great and responsible!
Have a wonderful weekend with your beautiful family
Maria from http://www.simplenaturedecorblog.com/floral-inspired-tea-cups/
Thanks so much! I’m sure hoping that my son be will independent we he gets older. I’m sure he will, but right now he’s very codependent!
I did have a great weekend! I hope you has a great one as well. Thanks again!
OMG! This sounds just like my son. He is never tired and hates to sleep in his pack-n-play. He will sleep through the night only if he is in the bed with me. I tried to sleep train him to sleep on his own, but it is not working. I have been a zombie for the last few days. I need to read part 2 now!
I’m glad to know I’m not alone! I swear my son never sleeps. They say babies are supposed to have 12 hours plus of sleep within a 24 hour period. I have no idea when my son sleeps, because he is always awake. Nevertheless, I have part 2 coming for sure!
Your situation sounds so familiar! We tried sleep-training a couple of different times (once around 4 months and then again around 6 months). I believe that in our situation sleep-training made the problem worse. We ended up co-sleeping (either for the whole night or just part of the night) for roughly 9 months. We then made a slow transition into our son sleeping in his own room by myself. That was over a year ago, and he’s a great sleeper now. We even make exceptions for when he’s sick, and the transition back into his bed is rather painless.
That to say, though, every child is different, and you know your child best. You will get through this! 🙂
Thanks so much for sharing your experience with this. I’m in the process of drafting pt. 2, but for the most part I’m just doing what is working for both us and him. The sleep training was exhausting and so painful for me to watch. I figure he will transition once our situation gets a little better and he has his own room. For now, we’re just hanging in there. It is reassuring to know that your son transitioned well hopefully mines will too!