It seems like in the world we live in everyone wants their piece of the pie and not to share it. Its dog eat, dog eat. As positive and objective as I try to be, every now and again I’m reminded that people can be insecure, jealous, envious, and feel threatened. By nature, I’m not a jealous person, but do I every now and again experience some envy or feelings of insecurity, of course, I’m human. As a creative its hard sometimes, because in the worlds of Pinterest and Instagram, and even reality tv, everyone appears to have a perfect life. Well they don’t! The very people you admire, look up to, and may even be motivated and inspired by can feel and be as negative and insecure as you are. Its funny when you look at others and think “wow, they’re on it” or “man, they really have it together”. Odds are that they probably don’t. We tend to give people more credit than they deserve, especially when it comes down to confidence and integrity. Sometimes, however, people give themselves too much credit.
People don’t like competition, they’d rather be the sole “one” in whatever industry or service they provide. However, the world thrives off of competition. If there was no competition, prices would be sky high and the market would be extremely monopolized. Completely irrational right? Absolutely! Your competition should serve to make you better. Comparison should serve to make you better. When I see someone who I feel I can closely be compared to or even my work, I’m motivated. Its like it just makes me want I need to do better, be better. I experience this a lot with blogging. I come across a really amazing blog and I’m like “I like this, I really do…I need to step it up.”. My initial reaction is not “woe is me” or feeling threatened. There’s room for us all, and more so room for me to get better.
All that glitters isn’t gold. It sucks to find this out the hard way, but some times it happens. Its quite disappointing, but every thing happens for a reason. We give people too much energy, too much stock and the universe has a funny way of reminding us that they’re just not that great. That we can be as good as them, if not better. I mean this in relation to industry and personally. Be a better person than that person you’re comparing yourself to or competing with. While you’re spending your time looking into their lives, you could be bettering your own. Living more intentional and focusing on your growth. Let competition drive you, drive your growth, and your skills. Let it make you a better person, not an insecure or threatened person. Let both, competition and comparison, push you to the top of your game, so no one can touch you and keep going from there.
There’s nowhere to go from where you are at but up!
I hope you found these words encouraging, because they came from the heart. Its as raw and real as I can make it, because its what drives me. Its what makes me what to be a better me.
What a beautiful and encouraging post! One of the things I find somewhat annoying is when people pull the “woe is me” card, instead of doing something to change their situation. If you see someone doing better than you (or you think they are) then do something about it, get up, move, make changes instead of sitting in your corner, crying and wallowing in self-pity.
Thanks so much Ana! I couldn’t agree with you more about the “woe is me”. Seeing someone more on top of things than you should serve as motivation, and not pity or jealousy. Its all about where we put our energy!
It’s totally true. Lately I’ve been talking about the “Facebook World” in which you think everyone is having more fun, better parenting and a better marriage than you are. And I wonder how mine looks. I do write honestly about my struggles, but I don’t take to FB to complain very often.
Your writing always comes across as candid and real. In reading your posts, they’re are some of the ones that make me feel like I’m not the only “real” one around. It really is so hard when it seems like everyone around you has it all together and you don’t. However, the truth is usually that they’re probably in the same boat as you, if not dealing with more of the struggle.
You said it all perfectly! ‘Having it all together’ is all about perspective. From the outside things may look like a well oiled machine but from within that person is mot likely working frantically to stay where they are. I have often wondered ‘how did they get THERE so fast’ to find out later they had been working towards that goal for some time. So I try to do like you said and use others success as my own motivation. Get It Done! 😀
Thank you for your honesty! I think as women, mothers, and then add women bloggers we tend be critical, especially on ourselves! I love to see the highlight reels, really I do, but that’s just it, they are highlight reals. I think the sooner people see that they can kind of let some of that pressure go. I for one can totally say, I’ve done that. I use to compare myself, and then think, “Why cant’ I?” Now, like you, I’m motivated! I’m also a more realistic thinker and know we are not seeing all the dimensions or even the complete process into a metamorphosis or Instagram picture.
I think it’s about empowering yourself, but you only make ‘you’ better when you help others.
Great post – I have been trying to focus more on doing what I know makes me a better person and not what the world says. I recently discovered a book from a friend of mine called Jesus Calling and it is very uplifting. I know that even my husband comments sometimes on how if you look at what everyone is doing on facebook it kind of depresses you and makes you feel like you are just kind of boring. I told him that you can’t always judge everything from facebook.
I agree, Tenns. The social media world is not real. It is like those old Christmas letters of old, you know, the ones where everyone is perfect, rich, and has great kids. The ones where the five year old wants to be a doctor, and is already doing calculus. Instead of bearing through that once a year, we have it now daily (or more often) on social media. We just have to be good with doing our best, and some days that is better than others. But, I want others to succeed and be happy too. We don’t all need to be measured with the same ruler. My ruler is different than yours and so-and-sos down the street! Thanks for a heartfelt reminder!
I love this post. It is sad…but this is the world we live in. Thanks for sharing this.
What a great post!
Thanks for joining the Link Up this week!
Hey Tenns! This is a great way to look at it especially with your business. I think I only felt tempted to think this sort of thing when I was trying to monetize my blog. Now that I’m not in that market and I’m just writing for me and to connect with blog friends, I don’t really think about competing with others in terms of blogging. In other things in life, all of the reasons you are mentioning and so much more actually usually help me to not be envious towards others even in my personal. I honestly feel like if the Creator of the universe wants me to have something, then I just will. I’m not very materialistic either so that narrows down my chances of feeling envy as well. I’m not perfect of course, but I guess life has taught me a ton in this area. And I find when you aren’t as fixated on what you have and don’t have and what others have, you tend to not care so much about these things when someone else is successful and doing what they love. 🙂
Thankfully, I have stopped comparing myself to others. I just couldn’t keep up anymore. I read the FB posts or Pinterest boards and see the truth peeking through. It’s all good. I’m not judging them, but it’s much easier to portray a perfect life. It is what it is. However, when it comes to blogging, I find myself struggling the most. Great post.
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